No matter what type of job you have, you probably find yourself asking certain questions. Some are positive, but according to confidence coach Steve Errey, some are counterproductive and liable to leave you feeling unfulfilled.
In a terrific Daily Muse post titled “3 Questions You Should Stop Asking Yourself,” Errey highlights some of the queries he finds most problematic. First up: “Do they like me?” This, as he says, is a natural thing to stress about, but if you spend all of your time trying to please everyone — and displease no one — you’re not going to do your best work. And that, he says, should be your focus.
“Nobody thinks about you as much as you think about yourself,” he says. “Everyone else wonders the same thing.”
The next one has to do with being proactive. Instead of asking, “When will things get better?” — which implies you’re powerless to rise about the the lack of respect or abundance of busywork or whatever else you hate about your job — you should ask, “What’s my next choice?” It’s a key difference, Errey says, since “the more powerless you feel in your job, the more damage you’ll do to your confidence in the long-term.”
Lastly, Errey can’t stand it when people ask, “What do I really want?” The reason he rejects it: It often leads to talk of following your “passion,” and in his experience, most people aren’t driven by single things they can pinpoint and devote their lives to. The more important thing to consider, he says, is what matters to you. Is it being creative? Working with others? Solving problems? Once you know what type of work empowers you, you can choose the career path that’s right for you.
“The whole point,” he says, “is to consistently and deliberately honor, express, and demonstrate the things that matter to you.”